i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
