this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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