She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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