i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've blown a few things in my day
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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