i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
