the condom got lost in my hair
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
