Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
