Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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