Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
