mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
my liver is dry heaving
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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