My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
