he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize