Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
