i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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