um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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