i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
