Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize