I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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