At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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