i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
