Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
