glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
