Do you still have your period?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
