I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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