Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize