We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize