Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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