I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I got chris browned last night
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
