Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
