i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
