no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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