So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
