So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
