U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
