last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
