It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
