If i come over, it means nothing
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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