i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
