Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year