Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends