if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night