went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
