Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i came on her dog
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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