We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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