i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
