it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
