your room smells of hookers.
And success
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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