I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
