I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
