woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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