what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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