Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
