I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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