Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
