Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
