He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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