lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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