i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You are a genius and a whore.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize