i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
