dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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