I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Congratulations! We have a period
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
