turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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