Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
